The Magic of Receiving
The last two weeks have been filled with some kind of wonderful. And there is a massive lesson still unfolding itself: the support we crave and need is always available; and it's our responsibility to choose to see it and accept it. It's up to us to allow ourselves to be seen, sit in the vulnerability, and say "thank you".
For weeks I was sitting in a big pile of my own shit: my stories of unworthiness, victimhood, feeling small, and most damaging - not telling anyone about it.
"Today, I really miss you." I sent this text to my soul sister Sarah.
She calls. I tell the truth about how I'm feeling. 45 minutes later a flight is booked to visit her the next week. There it was - the whisper of "I see you, and I've got you." I cry, and graciously accept.
Do you have that friend who it doesn't matter what you do together, it just matters that you're together? You can sit in profound silence or deep laughter, and each interaction is everything you didn't know you needed? This is who Sarah is for me. And our weekend together was nothing short of a miracle in teaching me this lesson of accepting generosity ALL OVER THE PLACE.
From strict dietary restrictions, to extra wools socks (because I wasn't in Texas anymore), pit stops at Starbucks for my morning ritual of coffee, and everything in between, every need was met.
It's a vulnerable space to be in when we allow others to serve and care for us. We must allow ourselves to be seen, particularly the raw pieces of us who are likely silently screaming for support.
As someone who leads trainings and is usually at the front of the room, I've gotten really good at holding it all together. I show up for my people, and then usually lose my shit in private. This works... most of the time.
Yet there I was - practicing in the center of the room with 30 trainees surrounding me - and the layers of fear + sadness began to unravel. I had the choice to hold it all together, or let myself be fully seen and (errr) supported.
One tear. Two tears. Sobbing.
And you know what? It felt so. damn. good. I let go of needing to look a certain way as "leader" and shared my experience and vulnerability.
"When we open ourselves up to receiving, we create an opportunity for pure joy in another human."
The beauty in allowing ourselves to be supported doesn't always lie in the being seen or in our gratitude. When we open ourselves up to receiving, we create an opportunity for pure joy in another human. Giving to others is an innate part of our human experience, so why would we ever rob that of someone else just to entertain our own stories?
Here's what's so magical about this ongoing experience. I was so caught up in scarcity and what wasn't working and it was creating my own misery. By simply saying that first yes to Sarah, everything has unraveled.
I see the support being offered to my business that I was so resistant to. I've had goosebump-giving conversations with people I admire saying "I want to help!" I softened and say yes when Dan asks me "Is there anything I can do for you?" I am choosing to trust the process and enjoy the ride full of unknowns. I've asked for more support and while the answer is sometimes no, or not right now, it creates new pathways and circuitry in my habitual thinking patterns.
There's a quote from our neighborly friend, Mr. Rogers that goes something like "My goal in life is to be the best receiver I can, because receiving what people have to offer makes them so happy."
Imagine if we shifted our attention to being a clearing for what others have to share, and in turn provide them with an experience of happiness?
I think we just might find magic.